Steamdrunks: The Drunken Earl

Trust this man to feed you drinks.
He won't tie you to train tracks. I promise.

I present to you today a post written by my good friend Oz, who you may remember from the Halcyon days of the State Dinner at the Dolmabaçe. He's been in exile for a while, toiling out of state, and so while we haven't been able to cook together for a while (the last time was in December...) we have conversed extensively about many things. Drinks, of course, are one of our many shared enthusiasms, and so this man–this wonderful man—has provided us with the following:

“We simply contend that a relish for 'social drinks’ is universal;... and that he, therefore, who proposes to impart to these drinks not only the most palatable but the most wholesome characteristics of which they may be made susceptible, is a genuine public benefactor.”
~Jerry Thomas, Bartenders Guide: How to Mix Drinks: Receipts for Mixing All Kinds of Punch, Egg Nog, Juleps, Smashs, Cobblers, Cocktails, Sangarees, Mulls, Toddies, Slings, Sours, Flips, and 200 other Fancy Drinks (1862)

This story starts, as so many often do, with a lady.
“What if you made a cocktail with tea-infused simple syrups?” the lady asked, innocently.
“Ooh... wouldn’t be that hard to do... but what would you make?” I pondered.
And like that I had been nerdsniped into the fascinating concept of Steampunk Cocktails.

Postmortem: Murder Mystery Wassail

The Spice Rack (L-R)
Tarragon, Rosemary, Saffron, Sage
Peppercorn, Thyme

All told, the dinner was a success. I was able to get the vast majority of the items prepped in advance, so that little was left to the vagaries of the location's lack of cooking space—however, the one item that could not be prepared in this manner (the Cornish Hens) were, of course, the problematic one. They went from being the first meat course to being the main course, due to spending far longer being cooked than I had anticipated.

Everything ran slower than I'd intended, as well. This was due, partially, to the Cornish Hen issues, but also lay at the feet of some guests being late, the murder mystery show and the servers being (more or less) unable to occupy the spaces between tables at the same time, and not having quite enough staff to efficiently plate one course whilst clearing another. This is not to say that the waitstaff was at all insufficient—I had the easiest time with this dinner because I was able to focus more, and did not have to run around serving, clearing, doing dishes, and cooking all at once.

Tarragon, the Butler, was ably assisted by the twins Rosemary and Sage, and Thyme, the fellow with the bell. Peppercorn was my point man for the Cornish Hens, and Jason (whose nickname has yet to be determined) was an

The Steampunk Chef, and Sous Chef Jason

excellent sous chef, in charge of quenelles, cornish hen fabrication, and piping whipped cream, as well as generally keeping me a sane man.

Apparently, my timing ended up satisfying the guests, who were quoted to me as saying that the slower pace of the food meant that they had time to watch the show, talk, and generally feel that they were not being rushed through the evening. I find that to be a success out of what I would have otherwise considered a failure.

The menu ended up being shifted around, as I said, and finished thus:

Open-Face Tea Sandwiches

Dill Cream Cheese, Cucumber, Hard-Boiled Egg

Chicken Consommé

Winter Squash and Chicken Quenelle

Winter Salad

Greens, Green Onion, Celery, Radish, Hard-Boiled Egg, Beet, Dressing

Braised Beef en Filo

Onion-Leek-Garlic Compote

Roast Cornish Hen, Lemon Cream Sauce

Glazed Carrot, Rice

Winter Spice Trifle

Assorted Fruit and Cheese

It was a lot of food, to be sure, but most every plate came back clean... Recipes forthcoming.

Photos here by Lance, aka Tarragon, aka Blue Dragon Media, LLC.

Spontaneous Soup—Minestrone

I'm working the closer tonight at the bookstore, and it's craft night. So, I felt the need to make something to serve to people here, and I have at my disposal only one cooking implement: A crock pot.

Let's get to work.

Ad Hoc Minestrone Soup
2 Zucchini
1 large onion
4 cloves garlic
4 carrots
4 stalks celery
some basil
some parsley
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes
1 can (19 oz) cannelloni beans
1 can (4 oz) tomato paste
water to cover
about 2 cups elbow macaroni
salt and pepper as needed

1. Combine all ingredients in a crock pot, and cook until the zucchini is soft. Add macaroni somewhat into the cooking process. Add salt and pepper to taste—this can take a quite surprisingly large amount of salt, if you like things that way.

Now, presuming I didn't have a crock pot—or rather, presuming that I did have a stove, I'd approach this a little differently.